Asgardians (2): Fandral the Fair, Hogun the Horrible, Volstagg the Voluminous, Thor, Lady Sif

New Warriors (15): Nova, Justice, Namorita, Speedball, Night Thrasher

The New Warriors huddle up, Speedball pokes his head out of the circle and pulls himself back down, “Um… guys, we have to fight actual gods?”

Namorita responds, “I think the red guy with a short cape may have some kind of demigod, and we just watched the New Mutants beat him. Besides, I’m pretty sure that my uncle has defeated Thor more than once.”The rest of the New Warriors scoff at the idea that Namor could ever best the Thunder God. “What? If he hasn’t, I’m still sure that I can!”

“And I know I’m good to take out at least one.” Justice coolly adds.

Speedball pokes his head upward again, “ACTUAL GODS!”

Across the craggy expanse Thor jests, “Doth my godly ears burn red with insight?”

“Tis truth, they seem to be disbelief that we are unbeatable” The Lady Sif raises her sword and steps ahead of her companion Warriors three and Thor. “To Battle!”

A round of resounding “AY!” is heard echoing throughout the arena. Thor raises his mighty hammer, Mjolnir above his head, sparking electric. “This is realm is full of strong thunder magics, I am powerful here as if I were in Asgard itself!”

There’s a flash of white light, followed almost instantaneously with a deafening clap of thunder KRATHOOM! The bolt of lightning strikes the very center of the New Warriors huddle. As they were arm and arm with one another, in such close proximity, the chain of electricity circles through them again and again until Thor shunts his elemental barrage.

Speedall, Justice, Namorita, and Night Thrasher all fall immediately, bodies smoking from the attack. Nova drops to one knee coughs hard and stands. He focuses the Nova Force and blasts into the Asgardians, full of rage.

The Warriors scatter as the Human Rocket flies to their position. All save Volstagg are able to dodge, but Nova nails the Voluminous, twin fists pressing into his generous midsection. Volstagg laughs at first, until he notices that he’s slowly sliding back from his position. “Well, we can’t have this!” He punches down on Nova’s back, there’s no effect. He punches down again, still nothing. “A little help here?”

Nova turns, slightly, and angles up, to all five Asgardians’ surprise, Nova lifts the god off of his feet and propels him through the air. Mid flight, he begins punching the god in the face, turns him around, and sends him barreling down. He lands between Fandral, Hogun, and Sif and the resulting shockwave of his impact sends them all off their feet. Only Thor, gifted the ability to fly remains at the ready.

“HAVE AT THE!” The thunderer twirls his hammer and waits for Nova to turn his direction. He launches the weapon with his tremendous strength and the object collides with the crown of Nova’s helm. There’s a blinding light as Nova’s forcefield is taxed to its limit and Mjolnir tries to push through its target.

As sight returns to the onlookers, Nova is seen laying on the ground, Mjolnir at his feet. “Another foe, vanquished by the mighty Thor!” the Odinson calls and Mjolnir comes rocketing back to his hand. To his surprise, Nova staggers to his feet, shakes off the attack and torpedos Thor, punching him in the face, knocking him over.

He turns on the follow through and punches down again, whizzing past to attack the other gods. He bowls through Fandral, Hogun sidesteps and knocks him with his mace. The strike does little good, but in his weakened state, it knocks him off course just enough to allow Sif to make her move. She takes a running start and slides underneath her opponent, as he crosses overhead, missing his charge, she stabs up. Most any other weapon, most any other warrior, most any other time, this thrust would fail to achieve objective. But Nova has been thoroughly electrocuted and bashed in the head by Mjolnir. He’s pushed through the nigh unmovable Volstagg, and been drubbed by Hogun. The Lady Sif’s sword is enchanted by Odin himself, and there’s nary a warrior her equal in all the nine realms. The sword punctures his protective blast and slices his midsection.

Nova’s flight sputters and he crashes to the ground. Trying to recapture his efforts and salvage the victory he stumbles and falls.

The Lady Sif stands, “A valiant effort,” she walks to her fallen combatant, “and a true warrior. Rest easy in the halls of Valhalla.”

WINNER: The Asgardians

JSA (3): Hourman, Flash, Green Lantern, Stargirl, SHAZAM

New Mutants (14): Cannonball, Magik, Wolfsbane, Karma, Douglock

“Magic,” Doug Ramsey tells his friend and body-mate Warlock, “is just another code, another language. And that flying guy in the white cape just gave us a heck of a clue.”

“Self-friend is correct, Doug. Query: is that why we are allowing him to fly above the battleground unopposed?”

“Mostly. Also he’s very big and strong.”

Douglock pauses to sidestep a furry missile as Hourman hurls Wolfsbane off his back and into the wall behind them.

“Oofta! Wee bitta help, boyos? We’re gettin’ hammered out here, an’ nae in the fun way!” Rahne growls as she shifts into full wolf form and races back to Stargirl, biting into her cosmic staff.

“Jeez! Somebody help me out with Team Jacob here!” Courtney shouts as two human-sized streaks of light shoot past her. She hears an echo of “Istilldon’tgetthatreferencebutI’malittletiedup!” as she and the wolf begin to float towards the ceiling of the cavern, where two backlit figures, one green, one gold, duel in the sky.

“What reference?!” Sam Guthrie yells as he chases the old guy in the helmet. “How can you hear anything when you run this fast?!” He had to be doing at least Mach 2 and didn’t show any signs of slowing down. They must be lapping the arena ten times a second! “C’mon, old timer! What’s your secret? Should I get head-wings like you and Cap?”

We’re only lapping the arena ten times a second and the rocket kid’s already slowing down! He’s wasting a lot of energy trying to talk at me, Jay Garrick thinks to himself. Wish I’d thought to wear goggles like him, though. Got him caught in my windstream, though– time to aim him at his friend who’s tying up GL!

Suddenly the scenery in Sam’s tunnel vision changes and before he can react, he realizes he’s hurtling straight towards Magik and the glowing green guy.

Aw, hell, Illyana’s gonna be pissed–

“Sam’s heading your way,” Karma says conversationally inside of Magik’s mind. “I’ve got my hands full keeping this Hourman guy off my and Doug’s backs for another… 48 minutes?! Merde! We need a new plan!”

“Kind of busy up here myself, Xian!” Illyana mutters to herself. Thankfully, the guy who looks like her brother in a white cape was still stuck between two teleportation portals, and the old glowing green guy was starting to wear down. Her Soulsword was starting to chip away at his weird forcefield. How can something be half magical and half… not? she thought. But Cannonball was soaring straight towards her! With no time to think, she yanks the big guy in the red pajamas out of Limbo, opens up one portal in front of Sam and another at an angle that should put him right above Wolfsbane, the floating American girl and this “Hourman”. An orange streak shoots through one portal and out the other, clobbering Stars, Rahne (regrettably), and the guy in the black hood. They all fall to the ground in a heap. “Rick!” exclaims… Green Lamp? What strange names these people have! “Courtney!” cries the flying guy in red with a lightning bolt– not to be confused with the running guy in red with a lightning bolt. Names *and* uniforms. If they weren’t yelling each others’ names I’d wonder if they even knew each other. “Rick and… Courtney, was it? They’ll be alright, Mister Green Lamp. My teammates aren’t killers.” Her Soulsword clashes against the blade of green flames the old man wields. “Myself, on the other hand…”

Alan can tell the Russian girl isn’t fooling around. Her technique with that magic sword is no joke, and those portals she could open smell like hellfire, which didn’t feel like a coincidence to Alan, what with those horns she was wearing– but she’d made a mistake, letting Shazam go to take out Courtney and Rick… “Sha– Billy! I could use some help!”

Too late, Alan observes. He thinks the rocket kid did it on purpose.

Karma staggers back as unconsciousness jolts her out of Hourman’s mind. It was much like losing at a video game where you could feel Mario hit the bottom of the chasm. “Great plan, Illyana…” she mutters as she surveys the crater. Sam lies in the epicenter, with Star-Spangled Girl (I think that’s what Rick called her?), Rahne and Rick– Hourman– littered around him. The red guy in the metal helmet (that’s Jay, the Flash, Hourman’s memories told her) is trying to wake Rick up, while the red guy in the cape (Billy? Captain Marvel? Shazam? Is that all one guy?) tends to the Stargirl. Douglock remains standing beside her, but techno-organic tendrils shoot out of his shoulders and drag Rahne away from Sam’s blast radius, all while turning his attention back and forth between Magik’s battle with Green Lantern and the big red guy. “So Illyana took out two of ours and two of theirs,” she says to Doug. “And Big Red looks upset. What’s the play, boys?” He’s got that look in his eyes– Doug and ‘lock are trying to work something out.

“Yes, the big red one is in love with the Stargirl– distract him. For at least a minute. Oh, and keep psionically shielding yourself. I don’t think anyone besides the Hourman has noticed you yet.”

“Gee, thanks.”

She closed her eyes and when she opened them again she was looking out through Rick’s. She could feel the– Miracle-Gro? No, Miraclo, that was it– coursing through his veins. She allowed the smaller red-lightning guy– Jay, Flash– Rick’s brain kept telling her– to help them up out of the crater.

“That rocket kid packed a hell of a wallop, didn’t he?”

“Sam. Or Cannonball,” she said with Rick’s voice.

She wanted to wait for the look of realization on the old man’s face, but she knew superspeed wouldn’t allow for it. Rick’s fist was just barely quick enough and strong enough to connect, knocking Jay out for what she knew, thanks to Rick, would be a two-minute concussion at most. She went to pick a fight with Big Red.

Billy had had about enough of this. The devil-girl had tried to trap him in some kind of pocket dimension full of demons, and then freed him so that her teammate could build up enough momentum to knock out Courtney and Hourman, along with one of their own! Once I knock out the robot guy and make sure that hotshot with the goggles is down, I’m coming for you, devil-girl. 

The blonde guy with the goggles and his friend the wolf-girl stirred, semi-conscious, in their black-and-gold uniforms. They looked more like an Olympic team than proper superheroes.

“Wha… did we win?” Goggles slurred as Billy approached. The Wisdom of Solomon told him to be calm, they’d all been summoned to the Rock against their will… but the Power, and fury and jealousy, of Zeus overruled him– they hurt Courtney!

“Not yet,” Billy said through gritted teeth. “Now stay down, Goggles, or I’ll knock you down again myself.”

“His name’s Cannonball. I’m Karma,” said a familiar voice behind him. He turned, and Hourman was there, with a weird glint in his eye.

“You’re Billy, right? I’ll say it like my old teacher said it to me… what’s your real name, Billy?”

Imperative: self must work quickly before LargeRedFlier sees us!

Yes, but quietly too. Reduce to 5% integrity. We may be able to get Flash and Stargirl out of the way while Karma has him distracted!

Douglock used his shapeshifting powers to turn into a techno-organic puddle, easily overlooked by the two super-strong men duking it out in the center of the arena. Karma’s thrall in the black hood wasn’t going to last much longer, from the look of things.

Analysis complete: staff fires plasma bolts and channels cosmic energy. Belt allows for reduction of gravitic forces on wearer. Neither can be assimilated as both are creations of foreign multiverse.

Damn, Doug thought. That would’ve been useful. He took it off her waist, tied it around her and the Flash’s feet, and turned it on. They immediately began to float into the air. With that done, he grabbed Cannonball and dragged him over to Wolfsbane, beside Karma, still shielded from their opponents’ sight and struggling to maintain control of Hourman.

“He’s fighting me, Doug! And Billy’s no slouch, either! Can I let go yet?”

“Yes. Goad him into knocking you out, then drop your shield. I want him to see us.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re not enduring other people’s concussions… here goes…”

Whatever had a hold of Rick wasn’t letting him go, and Billy was trying to pull his punches, but Hourman definitely wasn’t pulling his. “C’mon Rick, fight it!”

Suddenly Rick spoke up again, but in a different voice…

“We have him now, Billy! And we’re not letting him go! And we’ll take over your girlfriend next–” the voice shifted up an octave– “I dunno Doug, do we really need him him to think we’re evil?” But the strength of Hercules and speed of Mercury are faster than the wisdom of Solomon, and his fist was already connecting as he heard “no wait Billy it’s me it’s Rick–”

Douglock fired a warning shot from the cosmic staff to get Shazam’s attention. “You’re sure? His name is the magic word? And it’s the same as the wizard who brought us here?” Karma asked as the hero flew towards them.

“Yep,” he replied. “Query: what kind of corny world do they come from anyway? Be ready, his magic’s pretty powerful. You’ll meet with a lot of resistance, but you just need to get him to say the one word.”

Xian felt like she’d stuck her whole brain into an electrical outlet. This guy was fighting her way harder than any human, almost like–

—like he isn’t alone in here.

Illyana’s arm was getting tired. She was keeping Green Lamp occupied, but little more than that, and with Karma working on the Piotr lookalike, she was too far away from the rest of the team to tell what was going on. This old man won’t quit until one of us falls. That gave her an idea. “Oh! You have bested me, Green One!” Magik ended her flying spell and allowed herself to fall towards the floor of the arena. She saw Sam and Rahne unconscious, propped up against a wall beside Douglock, wielding the American girl’s staff, while Xian struggled with the big red man while the strongman in the black hood laid at their feet. She looked up and she saw the old man fly over to Stargirl and the fast one, trying to rescue them from the anti-gravity trap Doug must have made. Five feet above the floor, a portal opened. Five feet below the rock ceiling, a second portal opened. Illyana stretched her legs as she plummeted, and pointed her Soulsword downward. Momentum carried her right into Green Lamp’s unguarded back, knocking him into the other two opponents and sending them all falling through her next portal to the ground, landing on top of the man with the hourglass around his neck. Bozhe moi, she thought, I spent five years of my life in Hell fighting Belasco and I wear these horns. She pried the gaudy green ring off of the old man’s hand and prodded the speedster’s silver helmet with her boot. What’s their excuse?

Xian was at her limit. She felt like she could hear gods talking to her. Every nerve, every muscle was on fire. One word. Two syllables. Just. Make him. Say it.

Her brain was splitscreened, she and Billy could see each other and saw each other seeing each other, there were six other voices screaming in both their ears and the experience was maddening. Even controlling Madrox wasn’t the same, she thought. That was just 20 dudes who all wanted the same basic things. This is… is…

“Divinity?” Magik asked as she landed beside the other opponents. “Didn’t you and I fight Asgardians to a standstill? Aren’t you a child of the atom, trained by Xavier and Magneto? Fight them, Xian! Say the word!”

Slowly, the red titan’s jaw began to move. His eyes (and Karma’s) rolled back in his head. His mouth moved as his entire body thrummed with lightning until…

“Sh… sha… SHAZAM!”

Douglock, Magik and Karma squinted as their eyesight and hearing returned. The other heroes laid upon the ground of the arena, insensible but alive. As did a scrawny, black-haired boy in a red t-shirt. Karma staggered toward the boy to make sure he was alive. Suddenly the ancient, white-robed wizard who’d brought them there appeared before her. “My champion… you have bested him. You… you will proceed to the next round. How did you…?”

“You gave away your code–” Douglock began. Karma shushed him, stood and nodded in respect to their fallen opponents. “We’re X-Men,” she announced proudly. “We fight to survive.”

“Magic is not toy for children,” Illyana said disdainfully as they helped Rahne and Sam back to their seats. “I’d like to see Green Lamp or Kazam fight Belasco or Sentinels.”

“Green Lantern,” Karma said, distracted, as they sat back down. “And don’t say that boy’s magic word again. My head still hurts.”

WINNER: New Mutants

Legion of Super-Heroes (5): Saturn Girl, Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy, Matter-Eater Lad, Mon-El

Howling Commandos (12): Manphibian, Zombie, Living Mummy, Man-Thing, Warwolf

You’d think that five teenagers, abducted from their homes, staring down five monsters, would be terrified. You’d assume that they wouldn’t know what to do, that they’d split up and they’d wander off into the woods and get picked off one by one in about 90 minutes. You’d normally be correct. But these five teenagers aren’t your typical teens. They’re from different worlds throughout the universe, they’re from the 31st century, and they’re from the Legion of Super-Heroes. And nothing they face causes them fear.

The Howling Commandos, assume, just like you might, that these kids will be afraid. They’re an… “interesting” team. Pieced together by SHIELD to combat the bizarre. They are the monsters that go bump through the night. They all have their different reasons to’ fight on the team, all of which is inconsequential to the fact that they’re each incredibly powerful on their own.

The Howling Commandos play to their strengths, Living Mummy and Zombie begin to shuffle out. Man-Thing and Manphibian lumber behind them, and Warwolf slowly stalk from the flank. The strategy is usually sound, if they’re unable to creep around in the shadows, lurk through the mud, and sneak through your subconscious, they make themselves painfully known. The eerie, confident march to their prey.

Saturn Girl tries to pry into their minds, “I… can’t really get much of anything off them. Half of them are all but completely mindless, and the rest have such brutal thoughts, that… that I don’t think I can control them.”

Saturn boy reaches out with his power too, “I don’t get it, there’s no metal, not much around them at all. And the chain on the zombie won’t budge.”

“They look like a bunch of old movie monsters,” Matter-Eater Lad chimes in.

“They look like they won’t mind that we have to take them down.” Mon-El adds, and dashes off.

The Howling Commandos were expecting the first reaction the teenagers had, slight confusion, which usually turns into abject horror. They did not expect Mon-El to charge at them, do did they expect his speed. In a flash he’s upon them, grabbing the wraps of the Living Mummy and pulls them frantically. The Howling Commandos however, are not distraught that the usual fear does not take hold. They’ve fought the brave, the warriors, the heroes of their world, and they have strength all their own.

The Living Mummy grabs Mon-El’s wrists, with a mystical strength that Mon-El was not expecting giving the Mummy’s sluggish crawl. He turns the legionnaire to the Zombie and allows the Zombie begins mindlessly thrashing at Mon-El.

“Oh no!” Lightning Lad courses out bolts from his hands. He knows they’ll have little effect on Mon-El, but he’s hoping they’ll slow the Zombie. It has little effect on the Zombie or Mon-El, but the Mummy holding him bursts into flames. He releases the Daxamite and begins frantically trying to extinguish the flames. Free of his grasp, Mon-El flies up and back in with a flurry of attacks on the Zombie.

After getting in a few good punches, and stumbling the monster back, Mon-El dives back in and finds himself caught by Man-Thing. Again, showing a hidden incredible strength. Man-Thing stares into Mon-El’s eye and purses out. “Whatever Knows Fear BURNS at Man-Thing’s Touch!”

“Hate to disappoint you, but that’s not me. Mon El breaks free, grabs Man-Thing by the arm and tosses him across the stadium. His back turned to the rest of the monsters, he’s helpless as Manphibian snatches his ankle and slams him back to earth.

“Can’t have that,” Cosmic Boy cries out and flies into the fray. Searching around the field for something metal to attack with, he looks down at Matter-Eater, “Tenzil, I need that chain, think you can free it up for me?”

Without a second though, Matter-Eater Lad confirms, “No doubt!” He rushes towards the Zombie, quicker than the heavy corpse can move, grabs the amulet sitting on his chest and takes a huge bite out of it. The gem in the center glows ruby as Matter-Eater lad takes another bite, and another until it’s finished. The chain around his neck falls to the ground and the Zombie stands tall and unmoving.

“That… that freed him entirely! There’s not a single thought in his mind!” Saturn Girl warns her compatriot a mere instant before the Zombie begins thrashing around indiscriminately. Matter-Eater lad gets knocked aside as the rampaging undead fit of destruction begins. Zombie then turns to the Legion’s core three and chases after them, but with their Legion flight rings, and the Zombies crawling gate, he becomes an easy evade.

Man-Thing can sense the panic growing in the discarded Matter-Eater Lad, and begin shuffling towards him. He reaches while the Legionnaire gathers himself and prepares to rejoin his friends. He is taken back as Man-Thing approaches. After the brush with death from the Zombie, and the half the Legion’s powers not doing much good, he’s a little afraid of what this one can do. Man-Thing reaches out and grabs Matter-Eater Lad by the arm, and it begins to burn. He thinks to himself, this is it. All of the adventure I’ve been on with the Legion of Super-Heroes, and this is it, this is how I die, burning to death, killed by an actual monster. He burns hotter.

Matter-Eater Lad reaches out in horror, in pain, and without thinking, or knowing, he grabs the Zombie. The burning courses through them both, and that send the Zombie on a far less dedicated march. He stumbles into the still aflame Mummy, knocking them both over, and the two collapse in a blazing heap.

Finally free of the Zombie’s hunt, Cosmic Boy lifts the chain with his magnetic powers and sends it hurtling at the two remaining monsters. It decapitates Manphibian and circles back to wrap around Man-Thing’s neck.

While the physical assault has little effect Saturn Girl flies up to the sole remaining monster. “Just one left, I can push through.” She focuses her telepathic powers, and shuts him down.

WINNER: Legion of Super-Heroes

Guardians of the Galaxy (8): Vance Astro, Yondu, Charlie 27, Martinex, Starhawk

Birds of Prey (9): Oracle, Huntress, Black Canary, White Canary, Lady Blackhawk

“Okay, we’ve got what appear to be five metas.” Oracle flips open a computer on the side of her chair, “I realize I’m not normally in the field with you, but I think I can find something on these guys if you can give me a few minutes…” She begins frantically typing away. “Not wifi, no 4G, no… no… NO! I’ve got nothing!” Let’s see what they’ve got and I’m sure I can get a plan together!”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way!” Black Canary rallies her troops and the four take off.

Vance Astro witnesses the charge and steps in front of his team, he hurls the ancient shield which once belonged to Captain America. It flies through the air as the four heroes sprint towards the Guardians. Black Canary, with martial trained reflexes, vaults over the disk.

“My shield now!” Oracle hollers from the rear, still frantically trying to analyse her opponents and connect to any available information system. “Wait… I… I’m not set up for it but give me another minute!”

“One minute might be all we need!” Huntress calls back, pulling her crossbow and loosing a bolt at her aggresors. The arrow strikes the mammoth chest of Charlie-27 and shatters. “Oh boy… one minute might be all we have.” Huntress corrects herself.

“Arrows? I’ve got that covered.” Yondu pulls his bowstring back and lets an arrow fly. Black Canary is able to just sidestep the projectile, as gracefully as she did the shield. Yondu lets out a small whistle and behind the women, the arrow turns and flies back.

“Behind you!” Oracle cries, but her warning is too late. The arrow takes root in White Canary’s back and she falls to the ground just as they reach the Guardians.

Martinex flares out a heat blast bushing the Birds back for just a moment. Lady Blackhawk leaps over the flames and jumps onto Yondu, she starts striking him about the face while he tries to fight her off. Huntress pushes through and tackles Starhawk, while Black Canary runs around and kicks Charlie-27 in the head, rolls off the attack, and lands on Vance Astro.

Yondu’s surprise is enough to allow Lady Blackhawk the upper hand, but Huntress just doesn’t have enough power to falter Charlie-27. He reaches over and grabs the ace pilot, tossing her aside. He moves to grab Huntress, but this time she’s ready to use his own power against him. She’s able to grab his arm and flip him onto his back. Yondu gets up and fires an arrow at Huntress straight up, he whistles and it turns towards Huntress.

Black Canary notices the pattern, “EEEEEEEEEE!” Her canary cry causes the arrow to lose course and drop to the ground. She turns from her position and ducks under an ice attack from Martinex. She slides past Charlie-27 and punches Yondu in the gut. She flips back and grabs Starhawk in a headlock, wrestling her to the ground. From her back, Starhawk forces out a photonic blast, knocking Black Canary back. She see Charlie-27 getting to his feet and pushes out another Canary cry, with all of her force. Charlie-27 grabs at his ears, his eyes roll back in his head, and blood starts dripping down his earlobes. He falls to the ground unconscious.

Starhawk floats up behind Black Canary, “Neat trick here’s mine!” And hits her square with another energy blast, taking her out. Blackhawk jumps to her aid, but Vance Astro rushes in and pushes out with his psychokinesis. The mental attack leaves Lady Blackout down. Huntress is kicking and punching around Martinex, and starting to show the slightest sign of effect, when she’s grabbed from the back by Starhawk, who tosses her aside and blasts her towards Oracle.

The Guardians of the Galaxy descend on the remaining Bird of Prey, while she’s frantically trying to hack into the Beyonder’s data source. Not noticing the Guardians upon her, she breaks through, “I’m in! Girls, I’m in, these guys are the Guardians of the… “ An ominous shadow looms over her computer screen as Vance Astro, Starhawk, Martinex, and Yondu reach their target.

“I believe this is mine” Astro grabs his shield and shuts down the incredible mind of Oracle with a psychic push.

WINNER: Guardians of the Galaxy (3000)

Thunderbolts (6): Red Hulk (Ross), Elektra, Punisher, Venom, Deadpool

Planetary (13): Elijah Snow, Jakita Wagner, the Drummer, Ambrose Chase

As the Thunderbolts are brought down to the arena floor Deadpool muses, “Man I kinda missed the ol’ battleworld. You guys remember the Beyonder? Oh man I loved it when he went to Spidey’s and just wrecked the bathroom–” but soon he’s met with the stern gazes of his teammates as they try to work out a strategy, shrugging “Well, I guess you had to be there.”

The remaining four of the Thunderbolts take the opportunity to try to map out a plan, the years of military training among them giving them a bit of tactical strategy, but their opponents seem to just be four regular people off in the distance. After a few minutes of deliberation Thunderbolts draw their weapons and begin to get into position–after all their opponents look like four regular people, and one of them is pretending to play the drums.

Elijah Snow looks around impatiently, hands tucked into the pockets of his trenchcoat “Drummer, can you get us out of here? Not really in the mood to be a pawn in someone’s game.”

The Drummer waves his sticks in the air, beating against imaginary drums and using his technopathic power to try to mine Battleworld for any information. “Looks like the crazy cosmic being on that throne wants us to fight. Those people standing on the other side? They want to fight us, with guns. Lots of guns, and a Hulk.”

It’s that very moment that general Thaddeus “Thunderbolt” Ross transforms into the imposing Red Hulk, leaping towards the arena at the Drummer. The Punisher and Agent Venom follow behind with covering fire, round after round of bullets rattling from their machine guns as the cross the battlefield with Deadpool and Elektra behind them.

The bullets are quickly stopped in place by the temporal powers of Ambrose Chase, each of them floating in midair before falling to the ground.

The Drummer wave his sticks in the air for a few beats, the Red Hulk looming over him but after a few beats the raging red giant reverts to human form and falls unconscious at he hits the ground without his super strength to protect him.

“Just guns now,” quipped the Drummer.

The battleworld arena quickly starts to frost over with ice as Elijah snow eyes the four remaining members of the Thunderbolts, his incredible ice powers dickly turning their guns into unusable ice blocks. Jakita charges in and knocks out the Punisher and Elektra each with a single punch.

Jakita moved closer to Deadpool, as more ice began to form around Agent Venom. “HEY BEYONDER” shouted Deadpool across the now Icy Arena, “I’M ON THEIR TEAM NOW!” Deadpool reached over and delivered a powerful knockout punch to Agent Venom.

“☠☠☠☠ YEAH! PLANETARY RULES!!”

WINNER: Planetary

Masters of Evil (3): Baron Zemo, Ultron-5, Black Knight, Radioactive Man, Enchantress

All New X-Men (14): Cyclops, Marvel Girl, Beast, Angel, Iceman

Baron Zemo immediately draws his sword. In his own mind, he’s William Wallace, inspiring troops, fighting for the rights of his own twisted ideals. He honestly doesn’t care about the four individuals surrounding him at all. He knows they’re tools to be used in his crusade. He’s a little bit disgusted, thinking about the Mutants behind him, he’d fight them without cosmic influence. He doesn’t love using a Chinese man, but against filthy mutants, it’s acceptable.

Jean Grey sits across, reading the ambient hate emanating from Zemo. “Great, more of these guys.” She turns to fill in her team. “I’m pretty sure these guys are like, Avengers bad guys, the guy with the pink face hates us for being mutants, the rest of them just seem to be pretty normal type bad guys.”

“Baron Zemo” Hank McCoy, the Beast adds, “And his Masters of Evil. It’s always nice when they tell you upfront. The (very) tall one is Enchantress, she’s magic. The Knight is Black Knight- magic sword. The guy glowing green is the Radioactive Man, luckily we have a slightly higher than average tolerance.  Robot is Ultron, he’s probably the scariest. Zemo is skilled in strategy, science, swords, and swastikas.”

“Right, Avengers bad guys, got it!” Iceman jests.

“This is serious Bobby, any one of they’ve gone toe to toe with Cap, Iron Man, Hulk, even Thor.”

“Thor? Sure. But we’re the X-Men!” Now let’s chill these fools out! (I’m using that right, right? Right.” And with that, Iceman forms up ice in front of him and slides into the battle.

“I suppose we should help him?” Angel spreads his fiery wings and takes to the air.

“We always do.” Jean beckons for Cyclops and Beast to follow behind her. “Stay behind me, I’ll keep us shielded until you can a good shot in Cyclops.”

Angel soars ahead, passing Iceman underneath, and swoops down to make the opening gambit. “Well, first of all, I don’t think that I want you to have a sword.” He plunges with such speed that Zemo is unable to prepare, and Warren Worthington III snatches the weapon. He tosses the sword back and forth between his hands a couple of times, and decides to dive down to strike with it. “I could see myself getting used to this.”

At the peak of Angel’s ascent, Iceman reaches thee villains. He starts by encasing the distracted Zemo in a block of ice, “One down already, and we’re just getting started!” He continues to slide around the remaining four, encircling them while raining down ice shards. The Black Knight is able to shield himself, the Enchantress and Ultron don’t care at all, and the ice melts before hitting the Radioactive Man. Knowing what effect his radiation is having on the ice, he projects out his radiation and melts Iceman’s frozen support, his slide crumbles beneath him.

Angel’s dive reaches its target, just a moment before Iceman hits the ground. He aborts his attack to save his friend “You’re lucky I’m watching out for you.”

“And you’re lucky that I’m so worth saving!” Iceman continues to joke, hopping out of Angels arms and trying to attack again as Angel angles upward to build his momentum and make another pass.

“Why are you so violent young man?” Enchantress walks through the icy projectiles and strokes Iceman’s chin. She’s half a foot taller than the teenager, and as she reaches him, she bends down to kiss him, sealing his fate.

Iceman jumps back and sticks out his tongue in disgust, “Sorry lady, not my type!” And he encases her in ice.

The Radioactive Man walks behind and melts down the ice encasing Enchantress. “That’s okay, you’re not really my type either.” And with a deceptive quickness she’s back in front of him. She picks him up with her left hand, and pulls her right back to punch.

Suddenly, Iceman is pulls from her grasp by an invisible force. Jean and the rest of the team have arrived. “He’s all clear, take you shot!” she instructs.

ZARK! Enchantress takes a full optic blast in her midsection. The shot takes her off her feet and sends her flying back.

“Let me try!” Radioactive man pushes out his emissions.

“I’ve got this!” Jean pushes out her TK forcefield and bubbles it around him. “Hot enough in there for you?”

“You have no idea the power you’re dealing with!” The Radioactive man buckles over as he pushes the limits of his powers. The bubble flashes green, as the deadly isotopes try to escape.

“I think I’m getting the idea.” A trickle of blood starts to drip from her nose. “Scott, I, I think I can hold him, but I don’t know how long. Take the rest out and we can squeeze him down last.”

“Of course.” Cyclops turns his gaze to the Black Knight and lets loose another concussive blast. Black Knight takes the blast with his shield, but the force of it is more than he can stand. Digging into the ground, he slides back.

Taking inventory of the powers and levels he’s facing, Ultron is able to adjust for the force of the blast. He lurches out at Cyclops and clasps his steely adamantium hand around Cyclops visor. The red slowly peeking out from his clenched fingers until his fist closes.

Knowing the peril his friend is in, Beast dives in to save Scott. He’s able to pull him from Ultron’s grip, but his ruby quartz visor remains. Ultron crushes it in his fist.

“Thanks,” Cyclops pulls a pair of the ruby quartz glasses from a pocket. “Glad I’ve got my backups.”

“Your back or your front, it matters not. Ultron will defeat you all.” Ultron’s chromed maw cackles electric and an energy blast escapes him aimed directly at the young X-Men.

Beast’s natural athleticism allows him to grap Cyclops and dive out of the waw. “Oh my stars and garters!” This is not good. He bounds back and forth, dodging blasts setting up his next move. “Here’s a little something we picked up from the next generation!” He turns and tosses Cyclops at the robot. Cyclops lifts his glasses, and with no visor to control, unleashes the full fury of his optic blast, barreling down.

The blast rattles Ultron’s body, which remains unharmed, though the force is remarkable to jostle his interiors, the shot was wide enough that each slightly chink in the armor allows some to get through, and inside, the delicate guts of the android are pulled, torn, and disconnected.

Cyclops lands at the feet of Ultron. He looks up at the robot, still standing, towering over him. He hears the machinations of Ultron innards as his self repair sequence immediately kicks into high gear. Overhead, a dark shadow covers the glare off of Ultron’s chest. With a swift leap, Beast has reached the automaton and begins pulling at various parts, until he’s able to disconnect the head. The eyes, once a glowing red, shut off. The body, once making the industrious sounds of healing, falls silent.

“That ought to do it!” Beast, more than proud of himself, knowing how much of a threat Ultron is, misses the Enchantress walking up behind himself and Scott. She’s already lifted his companion, and kissed him. Beast notices as he turns around to see Cyclops standing, angrily, in between himself and Enchantress.

In an instant red concussive force erupts from his eyes, sending Beast flying across the stadium.”That’s it, don’t let up, don’t stop, hit him with everything you have.” She whispers in Cyclops ears. Beast smashes into the stadium wall and sits, unconscious, feet dangling in the air with the force of Cyclops’s bem holding him up. Cyclops falls to one knee. “Keep going, I know how strong you are, for me? Please?” Cyclops continues to push out his blast. “Oh, please, please show me all of that power.” Enchantress smiles, as Cyclops beam begins to flicker, then stops. He collapses, powers, and energy completely exhausted. “Looks like I’ll have to do everything.”

Enchantress turns to see Angel swinging around the air, locked in a swordfight with the Black Knight. It seems clear that the Black Knight has far more skill with a sword, but Angel has a decided advantage in terms of mobility. She sees Jean Grey locked in a battle of wills with the Radioactive Man, and she see Iceman about to help out his teammate fighting Black Knight. “This one again.”

Waiting for just the right moment, watching Angel fly around and clash repeatedly with the Black Knight, Iceman finds and opening, and freezes out Black Knight’s sword arm, locking it in place. His shield hand still available, he’s able to block Angel’s attacks, but he’s no longer able to attack. He freezes underneath him to slide around and cover, when he’s grabbed by Enchantress.

“You’re friends are preoccupied, no one to save you this time.” She wastes little time, and even less effort, and throws him into the ground. She walks over the the Black knight and flicks her index finger out, shattering the ice.

“Thank you puffkin.” He bluntly states as he continues his tetatet With Angel. As he screams down to strike again, he swings out Zemo’s sword, Black Knight parrys as they’ve done over and over, but Angel is not expecting the follow through of an Asgardian. As he corners around off of the deflection, he’s met with the fist of a goddess.

“One left.” She smirks and turns toward Jean Grey.

Jean has battle training, and incredible mental powers, and she’s situationally aware enough to see she has bigger problems to deal with now than the Radioactive Man. She releases him. Much to her surprise, instead of the release causing an explosion of his power as continued blasting out, she finds that he’s either suffocated or worn himself out. The green radiation dissipates around his lifeless body in a cloud. Pushing through the cloud she see Black Knight and Enchantress approaching. She feels out with her telepathy but Black Knight’s helm provides him mild resistance, and Enchantress’ Asgardian mind is too strong. Perhaps if she’d been fresh into battle, not containing a nuclear bomb for the past few minutes, she could push through. It’s all she can do to try halting the Masters advance, but Enchantress is too strong, and breaks through.

As the Black Knight and Enchantress reach their target, and Enchantress grabs the last of the X-Men, she commends the young redhead. “Your powers are very impressive. And one day, I’m sure, you would all grow to be fine warriors.” She pulls Jean in closer to whisper, because the gods are nothing if not dramatic, “Today is not that day.”

WINNER: Masters of Evil

Brotherhood (5): Magneto, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, Toad, Mastermind

Outsiders (12): Black Lightning, Geo-Force, Katana, Metamorpho, Halo

“These look like some bad dudes” Metamorpho helps.

“Indeed.” Geo-Force replies, “So let’s get on wit it!” And the five take off towards the Evil Mutants.

“What do we have here?” Magneto ponders, “Aren’t they rambunctious.” Magneto rises above his four conscripted compatriots in an aura of sparkling blue magnetic energy. Shoring together the powers of one of the most basic forces of the physical world he creates a dome around his team, and forces it out. The energy pushes back the five intruders and knocks them to the ground. “I don’t who you are, or why you’re here, but I’m sure your powers are dubious at best compared to the Mutant Master of Magnetism!”

“The master of magnetism, right? How about, gravity?!” Geo-Force pulls down underneath Magneto, the gravitons overwhelming the forces of magnetism, pulling Magneto to the ground.

Scowling, Magneto points and commands, “Brotherhood, ATTACK!” And instantly, Toad hops over the rest of the team and lands in the middle of the collected outsiders. He bounds straight up and kicks his legs out in different directions, booting Geo-Force and Black Lighting straight back. He lands, recovers and jumps into kicking Halo and Metamorpho. Halo flies back, but to Toad’s surprise, his foot is stuck inside of Metamorpho’s chest.

“Nice try buddy!” Metamorpho consolidates his fist into heavy rock, and punches through Toad. He drops the mutant and re solidifies, when he’s hit by a hex blast from the Scarlet Witch. Turning his attention to her, he vaporizes himself to float towards her. As he begins, he’s rounded by Quicksilver, around and around, forming a wind tunnel, trapping the Element Man in a turbine.

Katana slices into the vortex and Quicksilver stops on a dime, barely stopping at the edge of the blade. She pulls back and slices at Quicksilver again. He whirls around her attacks, dodging with ease, and in a moment, he pulls the blade from her hands.

“Yow!” Quicksilver drops the blade, shaking his hands.

“Soultaker is mine to wield alone.” Katana somersaults grabbing the sword as she passes. “You may be fast, but are you as fast as… lightning?”

From just behind where Katana was, Black Lightning fires a bolt of electricity stopping the speedster cold, leaving him convulsing on the ground.

Scarlet Witch blasts back on her brother’s behalf, and Black Lightning’s powers divert to Katana,Black Lightning quickly cuts his stream off, but he’s too late, Katana drops to the ground along side Quicksilver.

A Scarlet Witch prepares another hex blast, Halo soars overhead and blasts out her orange aura, pushing Scarlet Witch over. She pops up quickly, but Halo presses the advantage. “You can’t escape me, and I’m not letting you magic someone else!” Halo forces out a green aura to trap the Scarlet Witch in stasis.

Scarlet Witch pushes out a hex just fast enough to push the stasis field to Metamorpho, trapping him as soon as he began to get back in the battle.

Seeing his daughter fighting, Magneto searches the field for metal and finds Katana’s blade, soultaker. Silently it levitates up to and through Halo.

“NOOOO!” Geo-Force shouts, blasting the rock underneath Magneto, throwing him back. He runs up and grabs Soultaker, leaps into the air, and stabs Magneto in the gut.

Much to his surprise, Magneto disappears, Black Lighting is laying on the ground. Mastermind is found a few feet away laughing and rubbing his hands together. The distraction was just enough for Magneto to grab the sword again and club Geo-Force in the back of the head.

WINNER: Brotherhood of Evil Mutants

Ultimates (3): Blue Marvel, Black Panther, Miss America, Captain Marvel, Galactus

Metal Men (14): Gold, Tin, Lead, Mercury, Platina

The Metal Men bounce around and make jokes, “We can do this!” Gold encourages.

“May… maybe… we’ve fought tough foes before…” Tin offers.

“I know how to win! Mercury is the only metal that’s liquid at room temperature!” Mercury wraps his legs into a coiled tail and hops into battle.

Platina rolls her chromed eyelids and walks away.

Lead stomps towards the action.

Galactus, able to alter his size to fit any situation, has appeared with his teammates approximately ten feet tall. While they talk strategy, he grows to the height of the dome over the arena, confining him within. He reaches down and scoops up all four Metal Men in one hand and tosses them into his gargantuan mouth.

Stunned, the remaining Ultimates stare at the Lifebringer, silent.

These creatures are not life, you four are. It was cosmic duty to protect you as efficiently as possible.

WINNER: Ultimates

CSA (3): Owlman, Ultraman, Superwoman, Power Ring, Johnny Quick

FF (13): Ant-Man, She-Hulk, Darla Deering, Medusa, Zero-G

Owl Man peers through his mask at the rest of his team, and knows they feel it too. The Crime Syndicate of America from Earth 3 generally need little provocation to start a fight, and while most probably couldn’t tell the difference, he knows that something makes him want to fight the rainbow oddballs across the stadium. He’s about to call to his “friends” when he realizes there’s no need, Johnny Quick is gone already, Ultraman has taken to the air, and power ring is creeping behind Superwoman as she marches towards punching someone.

Simultaneously, Ant-Man looks at his compatriots with steely determination, “Alright team, the Fantastic Four chose US for a reason! Let’s put together a plan!… So… anyone?”

The confident suggestion to formulate a plan, while well meaning, did little to help as before any FF member had a chance to respond, Johnny Quick streaks in and punches Ant-Man in the jaw at super speed. The helmet takes a good piece of the blow, but the force turns his head sideways and floors him.

“How about don’t get punched?” She Hulk pounds into the ground shaking it up, forcing the speedster to stumble and fall.

“How about we pull them apart, piece by piece?” Medusa suggests while reaching her magnificent auburn locks out to apprehend their foe.

“How about, why am I ever here with you guys? I’m not really a part of this!” The youngest member of the team, Alex Power offers, as he scuttles behind Medusa.

“How about, we CLOBBER ‘EM!” Darla pushes her two “Thing Rings” together, and not a moment too soon, as the orange rocks fly from shrunken down size to cover her power she’s met by Superwoman.

“A good idea!” Superwoman charging in, belts the She-Thing in the chest. Causing her to fly back from the team, smash against the wall, and slump into a pile of crumbled rock which once armored her.

“How about…”, Ant-Man begins as he pushes himself up.

“How about, no.” Superwoman steps out and presses her heel into the back of Ant-Man’s head, denting the helmet.

“How about…” She-Hulk let’s her actions finish the sentence and lashes out at Superwoman with a stiff uppercut, causing her to fly back.

Witnessing the events transpire, Ultraman usually likes to take his time, gingerly settle down, and really intimidate his opponents before making his opening move. But seeing his love get decked like that left his already limited patience tried, and he swoops down, two fists forward and pick up speed to attack She-Hulk.

She-Hulk, being pretty used to battles by now, catches the shift in his momentum and quickly turns her attention upward, “Oh I’m sorry, is she your girlfriend or something?” and rears back her arm to repel the oncoming missile. The moment before he arrives, as she starts punching forward, she’s surprised to find her fist held, suspended behind her by a giant glowing green lobster claw. It’s all Jen can do to utter a faint, “Uh oh….” as Ultraman’s attack hits square at full force.

Gee, seeing his friend punched out so quickly, pushes out, forcing the gravity around Ultraman to increase tenfold. Ultraman looks up and smiles. Seeing what little effect this has, Power pours it on, increasing the localized gravity to 100 times the normal force. No effect still. He maxes out his powers, letting the planet beneath them pull down. This is the moment that Ultraman relishes. As he slowly walks amid the increased pressure, starting to sweat, just barely, as the boy in front of him is slowly covered in black rectangles, as he call on all of the force he possibly can. As Ultraman reaches within striking distance, the two are at a virtual standstill. He pushes out, raising his arms through the increased gravity. Finally, the strain of the young one it too much, he collapses at Ultraman’s feet. The glorified gangtser bends down, just enough to reach the frightened child below, and swats him away.

Medusa tosses the crimson clad criminal towards the green ringed villain and topples him, causing his construct to break, but too late to help She-Hulk. Medusa’s hair turns sharply and latches onto to Ultraman’s arms and legs. He’s visibly struggling to escape and then noticeably shocked when he can’t.

“But… how?” Ultraman mutters before the hair starts pulling him, with enough stress that even his invincible body starts to feel it.

She finally turns her gaze to the superman and sneers. The moment would be more than enough for most to get distracted, but Medusa is Queen of the Inhumans. A member of the Royal Family, she was chosen for being one of the most powerful of her incredibly powerful people. It would be forgivable if she missed the stealth of Owlman as he sneaks behind her and pulls a torch to her hair. Though, she doesn’t.

“Wha…?” Owlman steps away as Medusa’s crimson whips swat towards him. Superwoman, recovered, barrels into the fray from behind. Medusa, not to be caught off guard, Ultraman still in grip, flips her captive behind, creating a shield between the two women. Owlman jumps back and pulls out three owlarangs, tossing them towards his opponent. Each get swatted by strands of hair as Ultraman begins sparring with Superwoman behind, being played like a puppet. Superwoman ducks, and dodges, trying to get around Ultraman before the stress and frustration finally get to her and she gives up and punches him in the face. The power behind the undefended attack, the exhaustion of pushing through the gravity fields, and the struggle of attempted escape are too much, and Ultraman’s head drops unconscious.

Owlman continues to press the attack, trying to engage Medusa hand to hand. He’s even more surprised that she’s an adept combatant, and a LOT stronger than he gave her credit for. Ducking in and out of calculated strikes, Owlman questions his partner, “What are you?”

“I’m kicking your ass,” she sneers just before grabbing one of Owlman’s strikes in her hand, pulling him forward, and tossing him to the side. She finally drops the debilitated Ultraman and turns to Superwoman, who has pulled out her golden Lasso of Submission, spinning it in the air.

“I’m getting through to you one way or another!” And with lighting speed the rope wraps around the majestic mane of Medusa. Again and again until the powerful hair falls limp under the spell of the binding. Superwoman uses the moment of shock to suckerpucnh Medusa. With little time to retaliate the attack lands. Medusa’s focus turns to freeing her hair, while trying to deflect an array of hits until finally one rings true, square to the nose, at incredible speed, with magnificent force. Medusa falls to the ground.

Like the previous battles, Superwoman is expecting herself to reappear in her seat, teammates revived, with her defeated expunged from the stadium. She looks around, thinking it may be a trick. She kicks over the body of Medusa, motionless, barely breathing. The large green She-Hulk remains lying. The girl with purple hair still encased in a pile of rocks. The young boy that Ultraman was (probably) a little too cruel too appears to have actually died. And she wonders aloud to herself, “Maybe we have to kill them all?” Smiling she turns to her most recent conquered.

As she reaches down, out of nowhere, a small bug flies and punches into her chin, with an incredibly tight density, hitting like a bullet. Ant-Man, a little dinged, and a little wobbly emerges from his shrunken form, ready to finish this battle.

Luckily for Superwoman, she’s bulletproof. Without moving, her heat vision blares from her eyes. As the beam approaches Scott Lang’s chest, the battle ends.

WINNER: Crime Syndicate of America