This week, a retrospective of Captain America in film, and Jack is in…a good mood?
Trinity (1): Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman
Cirucs of Crime (16): Ringmaster, Crafty Clown, Great Gambinos, Princess Python, Human Cannonball
Batman steps in front on his two companions, looking out at the goofy scene of a circus in front of him, amongst others, he sees a crazy man in a tophat and a clown, he snarls and growls, “I hate clowns”.
Crying out to the masses, his three heroic opponents in particular, Ringmaster proclaims, “LADIES AAAAAANND GENTLEMENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! You are about to witness something truly incredible!” The Ringmaster twirls are he announces his show, arms spread wide. He pulls up his right arm and points to the middle of his forehead, at the purple spiral afixed to the center of his tall green headpiece. “Please begin by staring deeply into my hat. Focus now, or you may not fully enjoy the show!”
Batman mutters, “Mind control hat? How original.” and small visors slip over the eyelids on his mask. He dashes forward with alarming speed and punches the Ringmaster square in the nose. The hat remains in its place, floating mid air for just a moment, as the body underneath it is thrown a foot or two back and falls, unconscious.
Seeing their leader so quickly dispatched, the Crafty Clown reaches into his own mouth and begins unfurling a handkerchief. At the end of the handkerchief is another, and another, and another, and one more. He hurriedly pulls them apart and hands them to each his compatriots, remembering to toss one on to the unanimated body of the Ringmaster. The four standing members of the Circus of Crime, in unison, begin to enthusiastically wave their white flags.
Wonder Woman smirks and turns to Superman, “One Punch.”
Fantastic Four (1): Mister Fantastic, Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Thing, H.E.R.B.I.E.
Crime Busters (16): Ozymandias, Rorschach, Nite Owl, Silk Spectre, Comedian
The Crime Busters, a surprisingly bright and colorful name, which matches the primary colors of their members, appear disgruntled, to say the least. The man who appears to be their leader, a tall man with golden hair and a tiara somehow looks the sternest. He’s seems motionless at first, but it’s obvious that he’s taking in the peculiarity of three people in matching blue longjohns. The seem to have brought a monster with them as well. It’s apparent by the “4” emboldened on the human’s chest and the monster’s hip that he (she? It? they?) is a member of team as well. The “4” also gives a fair assumption that the robot is more of a tool than a member. Perhaps the source of the human one’s powers? A fair assessment. He turns to his fellow vigilantes, a little bit surprised that the situation has caused them to stop fighting one another. “The robot first, then the monster, then the rest.”
“Sure, why not?” The comedian reaches over his shoulder, pulls out a shotgun and shoots the robot.
“Oh my! It appears we’re under attack!” H.E.R.B.I.E. alerts his team.
“It appears the robot is bulletproof.” The Comedian gumbles and laughs as he charges towards the costumed adventures across from him, “Guess we’ll have to see if he’s grenade proof too! Hahahah!” Grabbing a grenade off of his belt, he pulls the pin and chucks it towards his enemies.
All of the crimebusters are startled as the grenade stops, mid-air. Even the Comedian slows to a halt mid charge. “3… 4…5…”
BOOM! The grenade explodes, still suspended. The blast goes out about 6 inches in each direction and then dissipates
“What… the… FU…”
“NEVER YOU MIND IT!” Nite Owl bellows out, cutting his friend the Comedian short. We don’t know what’s going on here, and we need to end this quick!” He pulls out his moon shaped throwing knives and launches them across the battlefield.
The Human Torch rises to the occasion, “FLAME ON!” dropping the daggers to molten slag with bust of flame and zipping towards the three still grouped together. He encircles the trio in a wall of fire.
The Silk Spectre, unafraid of the fire, covers her face and burst through the flames. “I’ll take the girl!” tumbling up to the Invisible Woman, she bursts into a sprint and about 3 feet away from her target comes to an abrupt stop. The Invisible Woman smiles, as her would be assailant scrunches and contorts as though hitting a brick wall. Silk Spectre collapses.
Perhaps worried about the fire, but just not caring about the worry, Rorschach strolls through the inferno as it begins to die down, the bottom of his short trench coat, singed. His purposeful gait and nonsensical muttering do little good as he bumps chest up to the everlovin’ blue-eyed Thing.
“Today just ain’t your day pal.” Ben Grimm daintifully places two large orange fingers, one on either of Rorschach’s head, and effortlessly lifts him off of the ground.”
“You unhand me fiend! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE! YOU’LL NEVER STOP ME!” Rorschach begins to shout, kicking and punching with no luck as he’s flung clear across the stadium.
“KaPOW!” The shotgun fires out again, a puff of smoke vanishing off of the Things rocky hide showing no damage.
“Aw for the love a…:” Once again the Comedian is cut short, though this time, not by his friend, and the Thing stomps down, sending a titanic shock through the Earth and upending the grumpy man in a domino mask.
Night Owl begins frantically searching through his various gadgetry searching for something very specific. He finds a small canister and launches at the Torch zipping around ahead. Laughing at something else being thrown his way, the Johnny Storm doesn’t think to worry as it deploys a powerful flame retardant that travels up and around the flame, turning them to a soft white foam, and bringing his foe to the ground. “Thanks for the assist on that one, it works astonishingly well!” Night Owl calls back to Ozymandias. “Given the intensity of this man’s powers, I’m confident that one or two canisters could put a whole building out!”
“Well ain’t that good for you Mr. Egghead.” The booming voice of the Thing, who has walked up while Night Owl was focused on the Human Torch. “Too bad that buddy boy there is my pal, and I’m the only who get to pick on the matchstick.” He reaches out with coarse mitts and grabs Night Owl, the Things hands so large that his hands basically cover Night Owls entire chest. “Ta quote one a my poker buddies, fastball special!” The things winds up like a pitcher, and launches Night Owl towards his sole opposition.
Ozymandias sees the incoming projectile, and leaps, high into the air, over his oncoming ally, over the wall of fire, and on top of the man mountain’s head. The Thing swats at him, but Ozymandias is too quick. He lightly springs off of the head and tucks into a somersault, releasing in a flying kick directly into Mister Fantastic’s face. Without assessing the full effect he rolls off his gambit, low, and side sweeps the Invisible Woman’s legs out from under her. He continues with his flawless movement to grab the off leg of the robot and hurls it towards the rock man charging towards him. The two collide with little effect. As Thing get just close enough, Ozymandias slides through his legs punches up with a low blow, and rolls past. An honorable move to be sure, and unfortunately as ineffective as he’d feared. He sees the fallen body of Night and hopes there’s some device that he can amplify or use to damage the brute. Luckily the brute is slow, and he is fast, and the team’s flyer/ ranged combatants are out. He takes off running.
It is too bad that the remainder of the Crimebuster squad had been so ineffective. Perhaps if they hadn’t all fallen so soon, Ozymandias could have seen the what powers the woman held, (hopefully she’s still down?) Or perhaps he would have thought to be more cognizant of his surroundings, as he dismisses the thought or an excessively long blue arm stretching past him as too fantastic. The arm wraps itself around him, stopping him, just a few feet away from his hopes of victory. Ozymandias can escape any knot, any binding, but this constrictor seems to move with his every effort. With no way out and nowhere to go, the arm pulls in front of the behemoth he’d been worried about finding a way to damage.
The arm’s owner calls from a few feet away as he uses his other to help his wife dust herself off, “Can you handle it from here Ben?”
“Oh yeah, it’s clobberin’ time.” The Thing cracks his knuckles, makes a fist, and the battle is won.
WINNER: Fantastic Four
JLA (1): Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, Flash, Green Lantern (Hal), Aquaman
GLA (16): Flatman, Big Bertha, Door Man, Mister Immortal, Dinah-Soarr
Even compelled to fight, the Justice Leaguers looks at one another, they’re an elite team on the greatest heroes the world has ever known. The ferocity suddenly boiling in their mind compel to attack, but it’s obvious their hearts are heavy as they witness their opponents streaking across the battlefield.
The GLA are rushing towards their foes like maniacs. Flatman is flapping as he runs like flag, Big Bertha is shaking the ground with each step, Doorman is slipping in and out of his dark portals, Dinah-Soarr is flying high above the team, and Mister Immortal is chasing behind them, enthusiastically screaming, “CHARGE!”
As the GLA crash towards the Justice League, Green Arrow launches a bolo arrow, snaring Dinah- Soarr, who falls to the ground with a thud. As Doorman flashes out of one of his portals, he’s met with a red streak and he too falls on his face as the Flash races past. The Green Lantern projects out a giant bulldozer and levels Big Bertha. The Martian Manhunter reaches into Flatman’s mind, and he collapses immediately. Almost simultaneously, Mister Immortal finds himself impaled on a trident.